We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
