I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
