After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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