found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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