took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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