Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
