FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
