Only a mothe r could love this liver
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
