Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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