as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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