are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
