Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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