You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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