So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
