Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
