Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize