I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
