Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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