I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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