Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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