She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
