are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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