yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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