Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
