i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
