People in love make me want to vomit
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
