My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
