omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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