He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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