I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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