My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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