elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
