I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize