he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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