Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize