will power is for people who don't want to get laid
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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