forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
