His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
