he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
