i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Do vagina's smell?
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
