i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
