this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
