do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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