Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Randomize
