i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
