what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
