I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I'm like, not good at living.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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