The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
