Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Randomize
