I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
