Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
