I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
