i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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