Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
smell my finger.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
