A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
