Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
