why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
