Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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