Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
