where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Come share oat with me in your robe
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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